The Man Who Taught Me How To Laugh Again

One of the four leading men in my life, Ed is a brilliant salesman. Quite literally, he can sell snow to an Eskimo. He can even sell you bottled air if he’s so inclined.

Ed and I were acquainted at a social website. We IM for several weeks before deciding to go on a dinner date on a particular weekday. We had agreed to meet at an alfresco cafe for a quick cuppa before adjourning to a nearby Chinese restaurant. I suspect the reason being that if we weren't immediately attracted to each other, we could always use the exit strategy of having to wake up early for work the next day.

On that day, I was early and having a cup of coffee as I waited for Ed to show up. He was late. I remember vividly the moment I saw Ed that I was smiling and thinking to myself, “Ok, I’m just gonna get through dinner and then politely tell him that I've to get up early... And, I would probably never see him again.”

Don’t get me wrong. Ed’s easily the Prince Charming to most gay men – tall, well-groomed and very handsome with a million-dollar smile to boot. Being somewhat of a chauvinist pig, however, I prefer my guy shorter than I because I hate the thought of having to look upward or, worse, tip-toe each time we kiss. I cringed inwardly as I had a mental freeze-frame of myself doing the latter as he approached me apologetically. But, guess what? Ed had exactly the same plan in his head when he first laid eyes on me! So, I guess we had something in common – we were both Shallow Hal.

Then, something quite unexpected and wonderful happened over dinner. Our conversation began cordially enough but, the longer we talked, the more we connected. We joked and laughed so much that we were tearing at one point. Before we knew it, dinner had lasted for more than two hours and, right there and then, I was sold.

After a month and three amazing dates later, we became a couple. Our relationship lasted for four years during which we created many wonderful memories together as we filled our lives with much joy and laughter. Unfortunately, however, besides being obviously worlds apart having little in common, we were privately struggling with our own issues which we didn't know how to involve each other in a meaningful and mutually beneficial way. Instead, we foolishly allowed those issues to adversely affect our relationship and, in the end, we both decided that it was perhaps best to go on our separate ways. Although we're no longer romantically involved, our friendship remained.

It has been four years since we broke up. This year, during Chinese New Year, I decided to pay his family a visit which I thought had been long overdue. Furthermore, it was approaching his birthday and so, I created a perfume especially for him.

I will always treasure Ed for loosening me up, reminding me to not take myself and my life too seriously. From him, I had learned how to laugh again.

Pity, though, he isn't a fan of Erasure.